Immanuel Approach Testimonial

Fifth Grade

When I was in the 5th grade, I had the “fun” teacher that everyone hoped for.  Both of my older sisters had and loved her, so I had every reason to anticipate the fun projects and an awesome year. I couldn’t have been more excited.  Early that year we had a history test that included memorizing more dates than I knew existed.  My feeling of being overwhelmed only magnified as I took the test and confused dates and events even further.  Upon returning the tests to us, my fifth grade teacher stood tall in the front of the class, looked hard at me with stern eyes as she firmly pointed her finger at me, and announced with disgust and disappointment for all to hear;

     “You are not like your sisters.”  

I looked down at my “D”, and held back tears as I felt my throat and muscles tighten, and my cheeks grow hot and red.  I just wanted to crawl into a hole never to emerge again.  I never told my parents or sisters about what happened.  I hid my shame down deep in my heart, believing I was stupid and a disappointment.  I would never again share the confidence of learning that I had previously with my “smart” sisters.  I would never again volunteer to answer questions, but choose to hide in the back of classrooms.

Recently I was led through the Immanuel Prayer Approach, as I connected with Jesus, I confronted this traumatic memory.  I now see Jesus in this scene; crying with me, letting my tears flow over the lies this teacher instilled in me that horrible day.  As Jesus hugs my 10 year old self, I hear the incredible truth that “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”  My confidence is growing because Jesus empathized, took my secret, and has taken away the shame that has long inhibited me from sharing thoughts and ideas.  I no longer freeze with fear when asked a question, especially if it’s in public.  Today I know and believe that I am intelligent, creative, and was never a disappointment! Jesus is in fact proud of me!

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